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DETRITUS
(Noise)

LIFE & DEATH
Urgent urgent I’m fraught with doubt 
I’m ripping my skin turning inside out 
Collecting the blame you’re tearing me down 
Who’s in your crosshairs when I’m not around? 
Is this real or a nightmare? 
I’m getting the fear but it’s not really there 
So rattle me loose from this stupor 
Climb out this noose and figure something to live for 
Asseverate I got nothin’ to hide 
You’re all such a drag gonna leave you behind 
I’m calling your bullshit and pantomime 
I won’t be suppressed this life is mine 
Can I be a famous writer? 
Not a crook, fiend, or freedom fighter 
Well I don’t suck I’m not an eyesore 
Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for 
Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for 
Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for 
Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for 
Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for 
Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for 
Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for 
Don’t give it away no matter what they say 
(Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for) 
Need a reason to leave? I won’t beg you to stay 
You’ve it rough you’ve enough 
(Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for) 
That’s not the same as saying “I’m giving up” 
I can’t believe I’m down on my knees I’m begging you please 
(Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for) 
I can’t believe I’m down on my knees I’m begging you please 
(Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for) 
I can’t believe I’m down on my knees I’m begging you please 
(Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for) 
I can’t believe I’m down on my knees I’m begging you please 
(Don’t give a fuck I found something to die for) 
I’m begging you please 
I’m begging you please 
I’m begging you please

PAYCHECK
Can’t go back to the way things were 
You had a big break boy that’s for sure 
Workin’ all week man I’m such a wreck 
I got a big head but I keep it in check 
Payin’ my bills try to spread it around 
But you know that’s no fun so I’m drinkin’ it down 
I’ll never catch up no I see no end 
Just gimme two weeks and I’ll do it again

TWO-HUNDRED & SIXTEEN-THOUSAND
So how many times must I pay for this massive mistake? 
And how many days does it take to reclaim your trusting faith? 
I didn’t realize what was at stake the choices I’d make 
The feelings I’d fake the pressure it took to break me 
And who am I to question your creed 
Your lingering doubts resolve excuses or sanity? 
I’d have done just what you did if I were you 
I’d have run lash my tongue right back at you 
It’s not something that you can fix so stitch up your lips 
I’m gonna need a crutch or a trip or a fool to get through this 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Ways to say that “I love you” 
And not a single one of them is coming true 
So I hope the best and convalesce with you 
And I won’t complain I have no claim 
But it scares me half to death that you might share his name 
And the role reverse has smothered me in shame 
I drill home my point when my actions speak louder than words 
Your physical touch is ineffable but you’re never sure 
It’s clear that you don’t respond well to gifts or compliments 
Or the fact that I made sure you’re precisely how my time is spent 
As I propose the Gods disagree and rightfully so 
The romance is lost it’s all just a show hypocrisy 
The embers grow into a monstrosity 
This Fireside Wake comes alive with rage that rapes and it burns 
And it tries to kill me 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Ways to stay in love with you 
And all your contradicting thoughts & point of view 
So I feel the need to twinge and bleed with you 
I won’t self-destruct but God I’m fucked 
And it’s not your fault I failed I just ran out of luck 
But the game we played amazes me in spades 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand 
Two-Hundred & Sixteen-Thousand

THE CLONE BLUES
They've all got brains the size of stones 
And little sticks and twigs instead of their bones 
But when they step up to the microphone 
Looks like they're seething with testosterone 
Instructing children to devour their own 
Rape and breaking everything in their home 
It makes them think that they're fully grown 
But in the end they're just a bunch of 
Clones from a magazine 
Most pathetic thing that I've ever seen 
Drones, dope, amphetamines 
Just stock me in a guillotine 
I got a buncha shit a-brewin in me 
About a bitch and all her apathy 
But the real dramatic irony 
Is that his brewing tank is fully empty 
And it’s so cool to sport this attitude 
Like you're special and indignantly rude 
I’ve never seen you expel gratitude 
Your logic is completely 
Screwed up and full of holes 
Heart is warm but as black as coal 
Cause being pious really takes its toll 
Just put me down with a loaded pistol 
Decrepit junky fantasy 
May as well be an amputee 
And if you ever try to disagree 
Man I'll treat you like an employee 
Cause they're just clones from a magazines 
Most pathetic thing that I've ever seen 
Drones, dope, amphetamines 
Just stock me in a guillotine

STAY DOWN & SHUT UP
I’ve been hangin’ around this sordid town 
And of the things that I’ve found 
There’s one or two that just won’t do 
I try to swallow it down without making sounds 
Got my head to the ground 
But what can I do? It’s under your shoe 
And I got no time to find out 
Cause my mind’s confined to you 
That can’t be true 
The hero goes unsung and they’re dyin’ young 
Keep my tongue in my lungs 
I’m turning blue but what else is new? 
Favor paper crowns and their wedding gowns 
Like their shit ain’t brown 
No it’s a different hue it’s reserved for the few 
And I’m blind enough to wind up 
In a bind owing dimes to you 
This can’t be true

BEEN AWAY FOR SO LONG
Been away for so long but now I’m coming back 
No longer need to explore 
I got a good mind to tell you all about it 
If it wasn’t a chore 
My time is runnin’ out so listen closely alright? 
Boys & Girls across the world it’s either fuck or you fight 
So go ahead make your friends make your enemies 
Make your wives and your whores 
Play pretend or defend all your vanities 
I just don’t care anymore 
Cause this city is so shitty it’s like a bathroom floor 
Bankrupt? We’re fucked 
Forever doomed cause we’re poor 
And that’s what I found out fumblin’ my way 
Through 48 States of crowds who’ll never know my name 
When you try you gotta lie and slight your loyalties 
If you want to succeed 
Cause honestly if you were me then you’d really see 
You gotta make ‘em bleed 
Put ‘em down stomp ‘em out tie cement to their feet 
Let ‘em drown thrash around just fuck ‘em fight and repeat 
And that’s what I found out fumblin’ my way 
Through 48 States of crowds who’ll never know my name

BECAUSE I HAVE TO
(Instrumental)

HEY, YOU
Hey you I can see the tears escaping you 
Hey you didn’t mean to hurt you with the things I do 
Hey you got a solid grip on me like super glue 
Hey you can I try to apologize before we’re through? 
Hey you I bet you heard a lot of things of me but they’re not true 
Hey you that’s just the hassle that you get hangin ‘round the avenue 
Hey you got your thoughts in a mess and your face is turnin’ blue 
Hey you maybe I’d stay but this change is long overdue 
It’s all wrong 
(Gotta make a change so I hit the ground running) 
It’s no fun 
(Feeling so strange as the joke of your cunning) 
And now I get it it’s not funny 
Hey you well you seem to forget what this world is coming to 
Hey you why don’t you take this five dollar bill and buy yourself a clue 
Hey you your reality makes everything seem askew 
Hey you why don’t you humble yourself? It’s a much more pleasant view 
It’s all wrong 
(Gotta make a change so I hit the ground running) 
It’s no fun 
(Feeling so strange as the joke of your cunning) 
And now I get it 
Hey you makin’ up lost time givin’ me the attitude 
Hey you hide your contempt & expect some gratitude 
Hey you I’m getting sick and tired of feeling like your interlude 
Hey you why don’t you find yet another guy so I come unglued?

THE FRENZY WALTZ
I've got no energy 
To work myself into a drug addled frenzy 
But I've got dependency it's a tendency 
To push it as far as I can 
So please don't remind me 
My balance is gone and I'm waiting for someone to find me 
Twist and rewind me confine me 
From myself and no one else 
And I'm just a pleasantry 
My mind is made up that you're sad when you're 70 
The jokes are relenting 
I'm intending to make you a goddess again 
But you're so fed up with me 
And I am so to of your blatant dishonesty 
Switch on my modesty 
It's a charm that gets us nowhere 
And I have had it made for a long time 
My syntax has been programmed with the wrong lines 
Your whole life leading up to this 
How much of your ignorance is bliss? 
I'm the incredible mostly illegible 
Man that you miss 
So speed me up and tickle my comfort 
It's not enough cause I'm still standin' 
Open up I'm freezing it's raining 
I made it up 
Imagination is a-runnin’ wild

A PERFECT MESS
I’m finding out more and more every day every god damn day 
That trusting people is like crumpling up money 
And throwing it away 
The things they do and the things they say 
Often contradict with the seraphic character 
They traipse around on display 
Now I’m not asking that people go out of their way to change their tune 
God no! 
They’re born from scoundrels suckers whores and thieving raccoons 
The distortion’s so deep that I’m convinced not a one of us is immune 
But with a bit of luck a raging meteor will crash into the planet soon 
And all you are to me is a joke that no one gets 
Would you give it a rest? I’m not impressed 
And all these sentient beings they’re ill-conceived at best 
It’s so grotesque you’re a perfect mess 
So while you sat idly as your time just passes you by 
You’ve taken to criticizing others’ lives because you refuse to try 
It’s kinda pathetic what makes you tick what makes you thrive 
That your measure of prosperity 
Must be in direct competition with mine 
Climb up the ladder out the bottle 
And meet the good old boys at the top 
Raise the stakes higher fuel the fire 
And start a landslide that can’t be stopped 
Meanwhile the infantry scatters dreams are shattered 
And we’ve paid off all the cops 
To fight the wrong fights your god isn’t right 
Black and red to the last drop 
And all our hopes and dreams are shattering at best 
So we settle for less that’s as good as it gets 
So I guess we’ll say “we should be lucky to be this blessed” 
I gotta confess it’s a perfect mess

DEATH WISH / PURGATORY
My future’s stalled in its tracks 
Put up a wall to hold me back 
Keep me in line well fuck that 
I’ve got a mind egomaniac 
And I’ll suffer the whole time 
And I’ll make it seem easy to leave my side 
He’s got a .38 special to his head 
He knows it won’t solve nothin’ if he were dead 
“You’ve got it wrong!” so he says 
He’s got class does it anyway 
The creature writhes in pleasure 
Just close your eyes adds to the trip 
You act surprised? It’s just my death wish

DEVIL'S DOWN
When you see you see you're seein' me 
And when you dream you're dreamin' of me 
And I got too much time to loaf and laze around 
I just wanna dress you up and take you out on the town 
All my worries catchin' up to me and I 
Can't see the forest for the trees 
And when I think I done you right my troubles come around 
I’ve got to learn to turn my devils down 
So long I've been searchin' for smiles 
Guess I shoulda known it’d take a while 
But I keep movin along like I could do no wrong 
So I put it down on paper like a stupid song and tell ya 
All my worries catchin' up to me and I 
Can't see the forest for the trees 
And when I think I done you right my troubles come around 
I‘ve got to learn to turn my devils down 
I'll fall in love with you so willingly 
My lack of patience is killin’ me 
And I'm goin’ for broke but I'm havin’ fun 
And we'll keep it up forever just don't tell anyone 
All my worries catchin' up to me and I 
Can't see the forest for the trees 
And when I think I done you right my troubles come around 
I got to learn to turn my devils down 
I said I’ve got to learn to turn my devils down

HORROR STORIES
I would take any advice for real 
There ain’t no lies to disguise how I feel 
I’ve been beaten down & broken it’s boring 
Your demons are what I should be ignoring 
Your moods are all over the place 
Images I can’t erase 
Oh the stories I’d believe 
Oh the horrors you’d conceive 
Outside it’s cold & dark and frozen empty 
Just like your eyes when you’re screamin’ at me 
I wonder what “safe & sound” is supposed to mean 
We missed that train and slipped into this routine 
Over and over again 
I dream of who you could’ve been 
And the quarrels never change 
But the morals stay the same 
So I guess I should try to figure this out 
Abandon my need to be what you think about 
Sever the anchor of my fears and my doubts 
Living unfettered I’ll prevail and shout 
Living unfettered I’ll prevail and shout 
Living unfettered I’ll prevail and shout 
We survived we’re alive 
(We survived we’re alive) 
We survived we’re alive 
(We survived we’re alive) 
We survived we’re alive 
(We survived we’re alive) 
We survived we’re alive 
(We survived)

A STROLL THROUGH RESPITE TERRITORY
(Instrumental)

THE "I DON'T KNOW WHY I'VE GOT THE BLUES" BLUES
I've got the blues 
And I don't even know why 
Have not a clue 
But I’m never satisfied 
They’re just first world problems 
Took me years to realize 
She's got a ruse 
You can see it in her eyes 
He’s got to choose 
Better make it wise 
She’s built like a red brick shit house 
But don't be fooled by that disguise 
God damn I’m confused 
So why do I even try? 
Used & bruised 
So why am I surprised 
That you’d fuck my brothers? 
On your knees vilified

LAZY SUNDAY
Patiently I wait for the 
Day to come when I’m not on the run 
And my demons don’t chase me 
When I’m havin’ my fun 
Cause the sun rise and the sun falls 
The same when I’m done 
Can it be? 
Cause my eyes are wide open 
So this can’t be a dream 
All my pitfalls and my habits 
Ain’t as bad as they seem 
So I’ll play ‘em away 
On this lazy Sunday 
Now I see what it means to be 
Sick in love that’s what I’m frightened of 
Cause the warmth of your body and your hands on my face 
Is a manifestation of the perfect embrace 
Is it real? 
And I don’t mind sayin’ what my head done thunk 
It’s the truth and I promise it’s not cause I’m drunk 
And I’ll play away 
This whole lazy Sunday

4AM
It's four o'clock and I'm tired 
Just like a savior you're my sire 
Could you believe me if I said 
“It would be useless in my head, cause I'm dead?” 
And nothing can vanish back to sleep 
And everything I have sewn it's time to reap 
Why can't you be more like me? 
It's easy to see my misery cause I'm see through 
And I wanted to be something new be more like you 
With nothing to gain and nothing to lose and nothing to choose 
I thought I was freezing but I'm warm 
I bought out to Jesus without form 
I stared to my right but I should have left 
Avert all this failure and screw this mess 
These acrophobic heights 
Are walking in daylight through green nights 
Couldn't you say you won't go away? 
Fighting your taste faking a waste and flailing in place 
One foot out the door pleading for more through a song 
You've got this allure I thought I was sure but I was wrong 
Wrong

LAST WORDS
Well my mother’s on her deathbed 
But we never got along 
And it’s not my fault for sure not hers 
But it all just fell apart 
Do I feel grateful sad or guilty? 
Do I deserve to beat my heart? 
Cause this attitude to battle you 
Was the lesson you taught 
And my friends are all laughing at me 
In their subtle stupid ways 
So I’m takin’ a trip I’ll need a morphine drip 
And I may not e’er return 
So when I wake up old & angry 
When I wake up cold and gray 
Roll me over dear in my shallow grave 
And just make it disappear 
Just make it disappear 
Yeah just make it disappear


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